I am losing a friend. His name is Governor and he is our German Shepherd! He has been a good friend and protector for 14 years. He has problems with his hips for a while now. We took him to the vet and got no real good answers, but they gave us meds for him that seemed to help for a while.

Now he is in his last days. If he is still alive in the morning we will have the terrible trip to the vet to put him to sleep.

We will bring him home after and have a small funeral. Elvin will bury him and we'll put up a cross at his grave. His name will me burned in the wood.

Thank you my friend...we will miss you!

My book

I am waiting to receive my proof book! An exciting time, but also a scary time...needing to make changes that will make my book a good read. Watch my site for updates on my editing!!

Book

I received my copy of Breath in the Shadows by Leslie King today and have been unable to put it down. It is an exiting book, with many twist and turns. Anyone who is interesting in a riviting whodonit will want to order this book.

I have a link on my main page if anyone would like to check it out.

Rain

Rain
I wonder when the rain will end. We have had nine inches in the last week! The cows are enjoying the high grass in the pasture, eating their fill and the babies are growing by leaps and bounds.
Work has been completely stopped for anyone who works outside. My husband is in outside construction and his work has halted until dry weather returns. I pray every day that the weather will clear and the work will return.
Times are hard right now, but with the Lord’s help we will be back, stronger than ever. Thanks too my friends for all their Prays and concern!

Some days I see clearly
Other days I only see clouds
Some days I am afraid
Other days I walk proudly unafraid
Some days I beg God for strength
Other days I know He is my guide
Some days I hide within myself
Other days my friends get me through
Some days I listen quietly
Other days I demand answers

As I walk along my life

Struggles

Struggles

I watched with tears in my eyes
As you struggled to live.
I saw the look on your face
As you spoke up softly; Mom?

I begged God to let you live
As you fought your demons.
I held you in my arms
As you cried out in pain.

I saw the straps being put on
As you begged to be left alone.
I ran out of the room
As you cursed everyone in sight.

I wait and pray there won’t be a next time
As you get to leave the hospital again.
I try to believe what you tell me
As you say you can beat this thing.

Till next time!

What happened?

We grow up thinking we will get married and have kids, everything will work out just as we planned. Right?
Our children will be smart and exceed anything we had done! Our oldest was so smart..never had to really study...he just got things without really having to try. Straight A's throughout 12 years.
So, what happened?

Will post more about this sadness in our lives another time.

Hiding

Hiding never works! I have tried hiding from life, burying my head in the sand; not looking at reality. Reality will jump up and grab you as you walk this tightline, trying to dig your way out.

Don't ever think that you can run from problems; just face them head on one day at or one hour or minute at a time.

If you need help, just ask! There are friends who will pray for you every day...as you walk through this landmind struggling to survive.

As I see everything falling apart around me my friends keep me sane.

You know who you are and I thank you!!!

Rain

The Lord opened up the sky last night with the rain and wind came roaring though. Damage was slight compared to many others.

Sad news of deaths in our state brought me to tears. Families torn apart; never to be the same. A small town pretty much gone, broken hearts as they were allowed to return.

Prayers sent with be appreciated!!

Thoughts

Listening to my heart brings me to a new place. As I walk this tightrope called life I know with the Lords help I will find the peace I have looked for.

Content with what I have, my struggles are lessened as I stay quiet and hear a promise for a new day.

Looking back is never a good idea...forward thinking is where I will go. Friends keep me sane as I travel through this mindfield.

Tomorrow is another day!!!

Just wondering

Today was a reflective day.

Thoughts on this and that

As I look over the last year I have had so many blessings in my life. Too many times we look at all the negatives and forget to be thankful for the good things in our lives. Some of my blessings have been overshadowed by sadness, but I have so many things that have made me happy; from getting to spend time with my mother every day to having wonderful supportive people in my life.

When I am down all I have to do is see my friends or family and I know I am not alone. Whether they are close or far away on Instant Messaging, I cherish our talks.

The good outweighs the bad times with my mother. Even with Alzheimer’s she still knows who I am when I walk in her room. I will never regret one moment I spend with this wonderful lady that has been there for me all my life. Now it is my time to be there for her.

Even with the sadness of the economy, my husband has always been my rock, though not a talker he shows me love every day.
Look for the positives in your life, you will be surprised at all the blessings you find every day.

Ray of Sunshine

I wrote this in 2006 as my dad's Alheimer's took him away from us. It was a diary of sorts of the good moments we shared.

Ray of Sunshine

Tuesday, July 11
A tiny ray of sunshine broke through the fog today
did this mean his mind had not entirely gone away?
It only lasted a brief few moments in time
But it gave his sweet wife, my mom, a little peace of mind

Tuesday, July 18
Today another little sliver of the man we all love
Was it a wonderful gift from up above?
A glance that says I know you
You’re my baby daughter, Sue

Saturday, July 22
Talked to the hospital this evening
Seems he was talking with some reasoning,
Visiting with others, with a big smile
Can this possibly last for a while?

Saturday, July 29
Took mom to see him with fear
He just held her near
The sweet little kiss
Was what she had missed

His conversation was in the past
But it didn't matter, it was more than we could ask
A sweet moment in time
Didn't have a reason or Rhyme

Thursday, August 3
Today is mom's day
Her birthday, with lots of sunshine rays
Got to spend some time with dad
A sweet time, and he didn't even get mad

Sunday, August 20
They seemed to connect today in a positive way
Sweet kisses, church together, not a negative word to say
Time spent together, with none of the confusion
Just a moment in time, I hope it wasn't all an allusion

Tuesday, August 29
From A.M. to P.M. what a change
From crying and sad, to a whole another range
Dreading the time when I had to go see
They are sitting holding hands, how can this be

The little kisses are so sweet
The looks on their faces was such a treat
One day at a time is all we can hope for
Good days or bad, we pray for just a little more

Sunday, September 3
Had a phone call today from a far away family member
Going to go meet him, and spend time talking of times we remember
Looking forward to a good Labor Day
I think this is a sunshine ray

Sunday, September 10
Took a little trip to see my girls, just for a couple of days
The time was short but got a lot of new sunshine rays
They were both dancing at the football game
The game was not important, not the reason that I came

Monday, September 11
A good day
No negative rays
Mom and dad were each in a good mood
Not a word passed between them that was rude

Wednesday, September 13
Two days in one week, this is so rare
Holding hands and kissing, seemingly without a care
Wheelchairs side by side; just a moment in time
Watching with tears, we know this isn't a sign

A day my sister and I will never forget
The ones that don't come will end up with regret
These lucid moments are such a gift, almost like a dream
Tomorrow could be another day of tears and screams

I'll take what I can get with grace
In this time I call a crazy race
Lovingly trying to get through another day
Looking, praying for another 'ray'

Sunday, September 24
Since last I posted things have been going okay,
They moved dad out of the lock down unit that day.
The medications have calmed him down so much,
not in the room with mom; but they can still get in touch

Mom in her wheelchair rolling down the hall,
looking for his name on the sign outside on the wall.
The staff all smiling as she goes past
Knowing their time together might not last.

We’re taking it one day at a time, with all the small joys,
Knowing we have to keep up our positive poise
One moment happy is all we can hope
With these good days, we know we can cope.

Sunday, October 8, 2006
We are in the twilight of dad’s time with us
Time shared together is a must
He knows we are there with love
And putting him into the hands of the man above

Surprisingly, he knows who we all are now
Even the grandkids, he knows their names;
Wow My youngest came and let him know his love would last
When he walked in, dad called him rascal; a pet name from the past

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Moments like these are what keep us going on
Even though we all dread the ringing of the phone
Three times a day I have to go see if they are both alright
Walking in the room, mom sitting with dad is my delight

Hope I have more rays to share
Until then please keep us in your prayers
Thanks to all for your kindness to us
You’ve taught me hanging in there is a must

Wednesday, November 8, 2006
The time came when we had to let dad go
Even though our hearts were screaming out 'NO'
October 12th, he left to see his family that had passed
No more pain, his mind is sharp, at peace at last